In recent years, we’ve seen a number of political figures who have gained a reputation for their coarse language and rough demeanor. Leaders like Donald Trump and Rodrigo Duterte have often made headlines not just for their policies but for their unfiltered and often controversial public statements. While this kind of behavior might turn many people off, I believe there’s an important conversation to be had about the balance between effective leadership and public persona.
As someone who values effectiveness in leadership, I find myself less concerned with a politician’s coarse language if they are effective in their roles. However, this perspective is not universally shared. Many people place a higher value on how leaders conduct themselves externally, emphasizing the importance of politeness and decorum. This is a valid standpoint, especially from a Christian perspective, where God values good behavior and righteous actions.
Yet, the reality is that public perception often equates niceness with goodness and meanness with bad character. This binary view overlooks the complexities of human nature and leadership. We live in a time where it seems like everyone is expected to behave like robots, adhering to a script of acceptable public behavior, lest they be judged harshly. This lack of nuance is troubling.
One of the dangers of this mindset is the potential to be swayed by niceness alone. As Christians, we often remind ourselves that the devil is a beautiful liar, presenting himself as nice and appealing to deceive. This analogy underscores the importance of looking beyond surface-level niceness. We should be cautious not to automatically attribute righteousness to those who appear nice while dismissing those who seem mean without examining their actions and policies more deeply.
It’s crucial to recognize that nice people can sometimes hide malevolent intentions, while mean-sounding individuals might be genuinely committed to good policies that align with our values. This isn’t to say that mean behavior should be excused or ignored. Rather, it’s about developing a more discerning and flexible approach to evaluating leaders. We should strive for a balance, appreciating the value of kindness while not being blinded by it.
The ideal, of course, is to have leaders who are both righteous and kind. However, we must acknowledge that this is not always the case. In the absence of perfection, we should be willing to look beyond the surface and understand the substance of what our leaders are doing. This means not dismissing someone simply for their abrasive style if their policies and actions are beneficial and in line with our values.
The Importance of Discernment in All Relationships
This principle extends beyond our choice of public leaders to all human relationships. In our personal lives, surface-level niceness should not be the sole criterion for allowing someone into our inner circle. Just as with political leaders, we must look deeper to understand a person’s true character and intentions.
As individuals who have navigated various relationships throughout our lives, we know that niceness alone is not a sufficient measure of someone’s worthiness to be in our lives. Genuine relationships require trust, integrity, and shared values—qualities that cannot always be discerned from superficial niceness.
Why, then, do we often settle for niceness when it comes to public figures? Perhaps it is because public personas are crafted for broad appeal, making it easier to judge them based on surface traits. However, this approach can be misleading. Just as in personal relationships, we must apply the same level of discernment and critical thinking when evaluating public figures.
The danger of valuing niceness over substance in both personal and public spheres is that it can lead us to overlook deeper, more important qualities. We might miss out on forming meaningful relationships with individuals who, despite a rough exterior, possess the values and integrity we seek. Conversely, we might be deceived by those who use niceness as a façade to hide less honorable intentions.
The Power and Pitfalls of First Impressions
It’s human nature to gravitate towards nice things and pleasant personalities. I understand this inclination well. We naturally prefer to surround ourselves with people who make us feel comfortable and happy. However, this tendency to favor niceness can sometimes blind us to the true nature of individuals, especially those who might have a more abrasive exterior. Often, such individuals are labeled as jerks, and sometimes, they might indeed exhibit jerk-like behavior in various aspects of their lives.
But holding on to the mantra of “First Impressions Last” relegates us to a rigid and potentially misleading principle. We can and should bend this principle. First impressions do not have to last, and they often do not tell us the whole story. This is why they are called first impressions—they are initial glimpses, not definitive judgments.
As a communications designer, I understand the value of packaging. In my work, I craft visuals and messages that capture attention and convey meaning. But I also know that packaging is just packaging. It is the first step in a deeper evaluation process. Just as we wouldn’t buy a product based solely on its packaging, we shouldn’t judge people based solely on our initial perceptions.
Instead of dismissing or accepting someone based on first impressions alone, we should take the time to look beyond the surface. We need to read the back cover, check the reviews, look for summaries, and perhaps read a chapter or two before forming a final opinion. This approach allows us to gain a fuller understanding of a person, whether in personal relationships or in our assessment of public figures.
The Realistic Struggle of Applying This Principle
I understand that this approach might sound idealistic and that it is a struggle to implement in real life. People often do not have the time to delve deeply into every person they meet. The fast pace of life makes it difficult to thoroughly evaluate every new acquaintance or public figure. However, it is still an important practice to strive for and to keep learning.
No one will be perfect at this, including myself. I admit that I am often a sucker for nice people. When faced with a choice between a nice person and someone with a reputation for being a jerk, I instinctively gravitate towards the nicer individual. This is a natural response, and I will initially form an opinion based on these impressions.
However, when it comes to public figures, we have more opportunities to see the full scope of their actions and policies. Unlike a random stranger or someone we meet casually, public figures are constantly in the spotlight. Their decisions, policies, and actions are scrutinized and documented, giving us the chance to form a more comprehensive understanding of their character and effectiveness.
Given this, it becomes even more critical to be discerning with public figures. While it might be unrealistic to expect the same level of scrutiny in our everyday interactions, we can certainly apply this principle to those who hold positions of power and influence. We should not act like single-celled organisms, reacting only to the surface-level stimuli of niceness or meanness. We should take the time to look beyond first impressions and evaluate the deeper aspects of their leadership and policies.
Photo by Ashkan Forouzani on Unsplash.
Disclosure: Written with the help of AI.